So, this guy walks into a bar. Wait, is this a joke? No, this guy is me. I’m actually walking out of the bar, but I’m getting ahead of myself. (Cue the dream sequence music)
I play bass in a pop / rock cover band. With being in bands, I’m in bars quite often either playing or out listening to other bands. There are always opportunities to meet new people. I’m a pretty introverted, laid back guy. I don’t always take advantage of those opportunities. So, I miss the chance to meet some great people or not so great depending on what bar I’m in and their level of intoxication.
As this particular night of debauchery (or quiet night of drinking with friends, I’m not known for much debauchery) came to an end, I found myself at the counter cashing out as a striking young woman and her boyfriend came up to pay. I was walking away when she caught my attention. She thought I was one of her date’s friends and wanted to introduce herself. I, in fact, did not know either of them. I had seen her date around a few times but was unsure who he was. Explaining how you might meet someone several times in a bar and not ever really remember them depending on the degree of the introduction. I told her this but was happy to make their acquaintance just the same. She understood this and stated she also would most likely not remember me the next day. In fact, she would probably not remember me in five minutes.
Whether her inebriated state or just her bluntness, I realized I could have handled that introduction better. I was the one that first made the insinuation that I wouldn’t remember them anyway. So, at two in the morning I’m thinking how this relates to my ability to communicate with others and work relationships. I know; your first thought is why am I thinking about work at two in the morning on the weekend? Yeah, same here; But there it was and that’s how I assume this blog is going to work for me. I’ll just have to get whacked aside the head with an idea.
How does my boring weekend relate to work experiences? For me; it was the “light bulb over the head” moment of “hey, my people skills suck!”, if I could put it so bluntly. I try harder in work related settings, but not much. I will introduce myself and make a little small talk, but I make no effort to engage in the conversation. I don’t feel I’m really wired that way. Some people are outgoing and some aren’t. The thing is, with those of us who aren’t, if we are to truly communicate with people we have to learn to open up and embrace their willingness to become part of our lives.
Part of our lives? Really? Yes. Let’s look at this on just a client basis. To truly be of service to your client you have to successfully communicate your ideas to them. But you also need to know exactly what your client wants. Sometimes you have to help the client figure out what they want. All of this takes great levels of communication. You have to actually discuss what they want out of a space, what their long term goals are, the feeling they get from certain materials or designs. I bet some architects are more in tune with some of their clients than they are with members of their own family. So yes, if you are truly communicating with someone they do become part of your life if only for a short time.
So, I could have handled that late night encounter better. I could have shown more interest in meeting them and not acted like I wouldn’t remember them anyway. The truth is, I don’t remember their names and that just brings home my point.
As not to disappoint;
This guy walks into a bar… He needed thirteen stitches.
Ok, maybe still a disappointment.
Until next time… use my novel length blogs in lieu of no-doze – J